I tend to be a night owl and rarely get enough sleep. I don’t eat as healthy as I would like to since being separated and divorced I don’t feel movited to cook. I used to love cooking but it now seems something I don’t have the time or energy for. My ex and I used to cook together and part of me is still Morning the loss of the connection to my best friend. My housekeeping is the worst it has ever been and I have little or no motivation to do anything other than think “ I really should clean this place up”, I’ve been hibernating and it’s time to come out of the cave celebrate Spring and rebirth and “spring clean”!
I have realized this is all forms of my grief over the transition of my father and the death of my marriage. It’s also a form of avoidance. Yes I have been avoiding the house cleaning because as long as it is a wreck I can’t invite anyone in.
I’ve realized one of my big issues is trust. If I don’t let anyone in I do not have to trust them. I have dear friends who love me in spite of my poor house keeping abilities and they understand I and make it my way through the tar like grief in my Life. Now that I see this I must begin to act. To actively move through the “tar” and begin living 8n my power. I know that this grief is opening my awareness of myself, my strengths, and my Divine power. I am remember my true nature, my Divinity and my Grace! I am fully committed to doing the work. Peeling away the layers to dive deeper into my Soul being fully embodied for the journey of healing and awakening.
I started a new ritual of waking up at 5am to give myself 3 hours of time to meditate, write, eat breakfast with presence, etc. It has been a wonderful change.
I’m going to lie in bed when I wake and create my day before even moving.
I’m going to start each day with my drum, rattle and singing bowl to stir the vibrational energies in and around me. And sit quietly in the energy…. before I do anything else.
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