I did this meditation again first thing this morning and had a very different experience. 2 out of 3 of the recoveries were not what I anticipated before I started. All happened between the age of 11 and 22 and the “requiring” theme/request from my soul was a guaranty that something had changed today. That I wouldn’t trust so much anymore and that I would not depend so much on “being loved” in the eyes of others but, if not loving myself, at least accepting myself as I am… One of the piece was SO large, it covered my entire upper body 😉 and another one was tiny and so sharp, I didn’t know how to handle it without cutting myself (until I wrapped it in a kleenex to be able to put it in my pockets…)
I felt ‘stuck’ when the part of my soul I was addressing didn’t want to come back. It left me with a sense of failure because I couldn’t provide what she wanted nor reassure her that the adult her would take care of her..
Sabine, sometimes the soul pieces are little beacons of light – we see them, and our soul then knows what work we need to do “here” in order to truly heal. I would guess that the reason you couldn’t bring that soul piece back is a large part of the healing work you are doing now so that soul piece was there to show you “Yeah, you’re on the right track” or “Work here … and then come back for me.” You are only failing yourself if you don’t question, or examine all those messages and the very fact you wrote that above means you are definitely examining and questioning.
Soul recovery – 4th time. I had two guides, both male which I found interesting.
It always start with an incident from the 1st grade. The night my mom stopped fighting and gave into a stranger. The night he stayed. The piece is still not ready to come back but interestingly enough my tiger power animal “stayed” with her; to give her love, protection, and Security.
The second portion was when I comply broke after a breakup, which inevitably lead to my mental health and bell being. at the time I broke wide open. That part of my soul – embedded in co-dependency still just wants him. I can can’t provide that so we’ll see if what she needs to return shifts next time.
Third – it was less an actual event but more of a montage of all these times I tried to give a very shattered and worn down heart away in exchange for “love”; begging for someone to love me. This part I was able to return. I grabbed the heart I was so desperately trying to give and pounded it back into my chest.
I love that description Amy, “pounded it back into my chest.” Soul Recovery is hard work, and many times it is more about the journey of discovery and not always about bringing the pieces back (yet). We go into the journey for insight, awareness, to see the story unfold from a different vantage point. Then, we come back into this time and space and do more work towards healing (in your case, perhaps more work in self-love) and then we can go back later and bring more pieces home. It’s a layering experience, for sure.
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