1. HillaryBanksSelf 4 years ago

    I am happy to report that there are more people in my IC and IC w/ Boundaries, this year. 🙂

  2. Cheyanne 4 years ago

    Here’s another thought. I’ve always felt more connected to folks older than me. Like in there 40s and up. I have a hard time connecting with my own age group. Most people in their early 20s I find it harder to have conversations with. I feel like a square peg trying to fit into a circle hole, not sure what group I fit into.

    I also connect with males easier than I do females. Was closer to my dad than my mom, closer to my brother than my sister. I love them all deeply though, just couldn’t always match with their energy. My mother and I always had a loving, respectful relationship but for some reason there always seemed to be a disconnection. I remember one day it felt strange telling her that I love her. And I thought why? Shes my mother, of course I love her. Shes always been the best mother in the world. It’s different now, I feel a much deeper connection today and can express the way I feel much more easily. (That goes with every situation really…yay for the south direction!) But when I was born I couldn’t breast feed with my mother. I dont know why, but I’d cry and cry and could only bottle feed. We never had that early connection a mother has with her baby when breast feeding. Not sure why it was that way, I was the only kid who couldn’t breast feed. But I bet you that explains the disconnect I had with her up until recently. I’ve been working on mending that relationship and it feels so great. I still can’t think why I never connected with my mom when I was born. Maybe that lead the path to me connecting to males more often. But why? Past life stuff I presume…I’m gonna have to dig deep into that. Wow. So many realizations. So many pieces to the puzzle of who I am.

  3. Cheyanne 4 years ago

    As a kid I was on my own a lot. I preferred it that way. I played alone, went on walks alone or with my dog and I absolutely loved it. It was me and my imagination. No worries. As I got older though I stopped wanting to be alone. As my childish imagination dwindled into adult thoughts that don’t seem to matter as much, I found myself feeling quite lonely. I wasn’t the kind of kid who was all out there, being social and making friends with everyone, and that continued into my teenage years and young adult years. I came off as being distant, a loner, people probably saw me as unapproachable. I wanted to let people in but my walls were up. Why is that? I often felt like no one liked me. No one wanted to be my friend. I wasn’t rude or mean, I was just quiet. I was in my own bubble. I had such a desire, I still do, to connect with people on a deep level.
    Now as I get older, it’s much harder to find friends it seems. And even now, I still find myself putting walls up when I dont want to. Old habits I guess. I’ve been putting so much effort into trying to meet people and make new friends but when it doesn’t work out, my walls go right back up. I think I’m just very selective about who I let into my life. Who I give my energy too. And I dont think that’s a bad thing, I just think there’s a very thin line between creating these boundaries and shutting people out completely.
    I find that with strangers especially, people I come across in the grocery store or something, I’m completely shut off. No contact whatsoever. And that’s because I don’t trust people here in the city. I don’t feel 100% safe. Because bad things happen here and all over really. Human trafficking for example is a very serious and very real issue. And maybe it’s today’s world that keeps me on guard. I feel like you just can’t be as trusting as you used to be.

  4. Jackie Derham 4 years ago

    I was never the kid with loads of friends, I had some but spent a lot of time alone as well, which I liked. Would go over to the river and sit for hours just me and the dog. Never one for keeping friends left school and left the friends behind, same with secondary school and collage. I have some good friends now but had to do a lot of work on myself to allow them in. so my boundaries had a moat around as well, only occasionally letting the draw bridge down. The moat has dried up, and I will come out to see people and then let them in. The more spiritual groups/courses I do the more people I like and I think that will continue. My place to re-fuel is the woods, countryside, rivers or any big wild spaces. Not good in big cities can only stand it for a day or two.

  5. Valerie 4 years ago

    as a child from 7years i was bullied a lot in school because i had to do my first year over. From that year I started distance myself from people. This has been a struggle for me almost the rest of my life. So beause of that I leaned on not having my own boundaries, so that everyone would like me. Inside I had a struggle : to much boundaries of people to let me know who I am and on the other side no boundaries : doing everything that people liked me. since last year I have been working a lot on that. It has been a journeay that I am still working on. I have changed my relationships also the most important one: the one with myself. I stil have the struggles sometimes of nog walking into the same I had as a child and young adult. But I notice the change inside and around me. I have more sacred relationships, I have more spoken up for myself. I understand more around me. Now since my mom has been sicker I have been tested with my boundaries and I feel now on my body, that there is a leakage. Doing to much and not taking enough care for myself. This week with the call , I was crying with what you said about saying no somethimes. You hit the spot. Thank you so much for what you said, I was going and going and not taking care of myself. I was again the people pleaser and the one who takes care of everything. I know what I have to do. Thank you of reminding me of the break i have when its needed. I am so glad that I am doing the course again so I can strenghten those boudaries . Aho

  6. dminer11 4 years ago

    As a child I grew up in a village where the majority of people were either Portuguese or of Portuguese descent. We were taught not to trust people who weren’t Portuguese. Also it was standard when you met someone new or if you were just greeting them you know you always have them a kiss on the cheek. In my family alone there was an uncle who was the typical dirty old mad and always wanting to look down your shirt, a other Uncle was alcoholic and a pedifile. My own Mother was terribly abusive. However we were taught to respect our elders and greet with a kiss. We were taught to trust the wrong people. My mother even went so far a pushing for an arranged marriage. Started picking out boys that they thought were from “good Portuguese ” families. I was the rebel in some regards but had to be very careful or I would get beaten. I had very few close friends. It was always hard to let people in. Although I have always been friendly. When I was older for a while I had a secret life because none of my friends understood my metaphysical world. If anything my boundaries went from very strict to nearly none to now which is moderate.

  7. Christina 4 years ago

    So wow. Looking back at what I wrote last year was interesting. I now live in the woods, so yay!
    Boundaries I have still to work on. After the last few months I notice that I have been rigid ( out of a sense of protection) yet at the same time there are moments of porousness (is that a word lol?) So I am still driving for that balance, or conscious awareness what boundaries to have when.

  8. PhyllisEagleDancing 5 years ago

    My gas station is meditation for 20 minutes; the woods, my Granny Shed that is totally ME. Playing with grand baby, eating a good meal, walking my dog, Spirit, listening to music, playing music, doing art.

  9. PhyllisEagleDancing 5 years ago

    I love the phrase, “Teenage pocket of resentment”. I can relate.

  10. Hanna Isaksson 5 years ago

    My “gas station” is my home. It’s surrounded by trees and I see the water. I have also built it practically from the beginning, so this house is manifesting my ideas and personality. Since I have a hectic job from time to time, I love to be at home during the weekends, walk the dog, sit on the porch, just be in this environment.

  11. lisa 5 years ago

    My gas station is outside– refueling on a hike in the woods or perched up on a rock. Great Falls on the Maryland and Virginia sides–both differently beautiful. As a kid– just getting released to the back yard was a joy.

  12. Jackie 5 years ago

    I have always tried to get away and find a place to be by myself…growing up, I’d go in an old car out back (bedroom was shared with 3 other sisters). Now, I tend to go in what I call the Bonus Room…a room over the garage that I insisted be finished when we built…it is absolutely divine to be alone! Solitary walks (with dog in tow), or in my sewing room, or sitting on the rocks near the river….always rejuvenating!

  13. Joy Little Mountain Richards 5 years ago

    Oops, forgot to say above,
    Sacred space now:-
    Back Bedroom

    I don’t have to conform to others boundaries there, just my space,
    If door closed, means do not enter.
    Learning , slowly…to find sacred space in the house, resetting boundaries..
    Work in progress…

  14. Joy Little Mountain Richards 5 years ago

    Probably as 4 year old learnt the lessons ? Perhaps younger..
    Brother got all the attention, Victoria attitudes of the males count!
    The females have to serve, be pretty, be quiet and do what their told.
    So I learnt to do that…!
    Unfortunately parents then realised I’d gone too quiet, too shy.
    What did they do, bless them!
    Thought it they put me in one of those kids Rose Bud competitions at local sea side town, in front of hundreds of folk in deck chairs at the promenade , that would give me confidence!
    Erm…. Think not!
    Traumitized me, wanted to become invisible, hence became wall flower, always in background, felt safe then. My sacred space was just being invisible, quite and did what told, followed the rules, behaved, didn’t want to get noticed at all then!
    I could mention other stuff but basically same result, your female, you don’t count, second class citizen, no need for an education, your only going to get married and have children… Didn’t stick up for self, got bullied…no confidence, nothing expected of me! Waste of space…!

    Pleased to say, got confidence for first time in life when 16, found I could actually do something! Could type and do shorthand…so started to value self.
    But confidence came and went over years, never put in the proper ground work, good foundations. Was too easily swayed by others, trying to conform to please them…lost parts of self…

    Anyhow, since 21 day gratitude, I can honestly say first time in probably ten years I’m realising I’m not such a failure as I thought. I have finally put self back on list, sticking up for self, already trying to set boundaries but early days…but I’m starting to value self again and it’s been a long time coming that feeling…
    Still work in progress, no angel, but trying to just live peaceful life, don’t want the rollercoaster of emotions any more.

    Can feel one step closer each week, I pray this continues…
    As always, deepest gratitude Dakota for sharing your wisdom and helping me and others on path..

    Love light and laughter blessings to all
    Joy 11/10/17

  15. Christina 5 years ago

    So…. boundaries is something I have worked very hard to develop over the last 5 years or so. As a child boundaries were not something that was taught as my family certainly doesn’t have them at all. Coming from childhood abuse others tended to literally beat their crap on me physically, emotionally, and mentally. So I was never taught it was safe for me to have my own voice or feelings, etc. I have tended my whole life to unconsciously not have boundaries and now the past few years from recent events I have noticed at times I can be a little rigid, protecting myself of course. It seems that I still strive for balance and I’m very excited to be doing the work this week.

    When I am in the woods as well as by water (preferably both ;)) is where I recharge. I live in a city setting for now and so there is a little hiking area that is tucked amidst the hustle and bustle that I like to go to. It’s like entering a secret place where the outside noise drowns out and the fairies play. There is an amazing sitting rock by a stream that I like to sit on as the trees around that clearing are massive and very protective. 🙂

  16. Rani Mullane 5 years ago

    This was amazing to watch. When trying to grow and heal, I spend more time looking at the recent years as opposed to going all the way back to childhood which is where the “root” of the “wounds” tend to exist. I thank you for this video Dakota. Going back to childhood, my parents had many friends and upon meeting them i can even recall my fathers hand on my back pushing my body to move forward and greet or welcome someone. I was timid and shy and didn’t like that. And now here I am as 39 year old adult with absolutely zero boundaries. I know this is also related to having very deficient lower chakra development and excessive upper chakra development.

    As of today, I am 2 days into learning that a man I had felt incredible energy with, has spent the entire time of 3 months lying to me about being single, about admitting himself into a facility for mental help, he even spent 40 days pretending to be his “cousin” and texting me from a third party perspective just to keep me on hold and be in control of me. I did my own investigating, got the intel that I needed and the second I told him his cover was blown, he began to message me as himself and admitted he’s toxic and a liar and trying to fix his life. As angry and devastated as I am, I cannot seem to get myself out of this downward spiral. Even though I have bitched him out and told him to stay away from me, I still cannot manage to block him from my phone. I’d say having a history of no boundaries has created a lifestyle of games which I am trying so hard to stop. I know my worth. I spent all morning texting every guy who places me second to not contact me anymore. This was my first action upon waking up today. I understand how the Law of Attraction works, and I am attracting more and more of these same types of people because I have not cleaned up my internal stuff or set up internal boundaries. I’m truly excited about this phase because if there is one thing I need most, it’s boundaries. *Deep breath*…It’s truly time my life, heart and soul learn to protect themselves. <3

    • Christina 5 years ago


      That is so awesome that you have an awareness of the patterns and energy you are holding that attracts this sort of person!!! I hope that in going back farther you are able to see where this may stem from and nip it! Focusing on you and giving yourself the much needed attention, for all of us even, will allow you to decide what you really deserve and will allow yourself to accept in the future! It’s a process and you are definitely not alone! Kudos to you! 🙂

  17. Diana Willard 5 years ago

    My gas station is the ocean and woods; both close to home. Beautiful and grounding.

  18. Lee-Ann 5 years ago

    My gas station has always been the river in NH. It clears and recharges me like nothing else. However, it is 3 hours away. I don’t really have a place closer to home. I tend to isolate and crawl into my home space.

  19. Marisse Reyes 5 years ago

    My “gas station” is Bali… by the river. But here in Amsterdam, that would be the Beatrix Park, the closest park to my home. Also my bed, especially when all my fur kids are piled up in it 🙂

  20. HillaryBanksSelf 5 years ago

    My apartment, and in particular my art studio + living room, are two places I love to be alone and quietly think / create / meditate. I also enjoy going to the beach. Zuma Beach, north of Malibu, is magical to me. There’s a relatively easy hike that takes about 45 minutes and it gives me enough time to enjoy the scenery and clear my mind. It starts on a sandy beach, winds up a trail and ends on a rocky shore – so I get to see dolphins, whales, seals, seagulls, geckos and lots of butterflies. It’s one of my favorite places to go and clear my head. I’m looking forward to exploring boundaries. I know that as a child, my idea of boundaries was blurred / non-existent due to the familial dynamics and addictive behaviors being exhibited around me. As an adult, I’ve learned a lot about setting healthy boundaries – and in looking at my “circles”, I see that perhaps I may have set too rigid of boundaries, because currently I had a hard time listing anyone in my “Inner Circle”. I did list my Mom there, but I also put her in the IC-with Boundaries, because there are times when I keep even her at a distance, now.

  21. blpark55 5 years ago

    Hmm as I child I would run, distance myself from certain family members. I’d hide in the barn or on top of a haystack or head to the river bottom. Tomorrow I’m planning on sitting with the circles. Expecting for lots to surface. I’ll be back.

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