Yes, Gillian, I appreciate what you are saying about the “irrefutable proof” I laugh at myself sometimes because there is so, so much magic in the world all around us…. our biology, plants that feed us, and this amazing world that has somehow popped out of the cosmic soup. This is why I have no trouble believing that there is a Divine Source. I think the proof of a spiritual path, again just for me, is that I request something and I get a clear response “Yes” “No”. Clear means something that is beyond my influence, so probably not pendulums or a “feeling”… more likely a vivid dream or an uncanny coincidence. To be frank, I feel like I am insulting the Source to put forth some kind of “test”. Do you know what I mean? For example, I might pray and say that if X happens, then I know I’m supposed to do Y. How do I know that X is more than chance anyway? So, irrefutable proof could be that I have some kind of special, clearly supernatural gift, as some do. But…. does that mean that our Creator does not care for those who don’t have special gifts? Maybe we all have supernatural gifts (like speech or vision, etc) but it just doesn’t feel supernatural because we all have it. I ask myself why I have to be hung up on this. Why can’t I just move forward anyway? That is actually what I am trying to do with this mentorship… just move forward and try this path and see in retrospect whether or not it works, but it is a Catch-22 because faith is an essential element to the effectiveness of spiritual power. Isn’t it?

Hi Friends. Okay… yes, I am struggling. It’s pretty obvious that, while I am perfectly capable, prepared, worthy, I have struggled with almost everything in my life, and in the past 5 years, everything that gave me a sense of belonging has been stripped away. Everything. My block? I think my block is my determination to be honest about what I know and what I don’t. This is a problem when it comes to the kind of faith that animates our life choices. I passionately believe that this world springs from and is infused by a loving, powerful, sentient Source, a Creator. I also think that our personal spiritual power comes via a more specific way of applying our spirituality (a theology, or spiritual path, if you will). I think I am blocked because I have been unable to know what is true and what is not with regards to the specifics of a spiritual path. In the same way that I came to question what the Bible said about Jesus being God’s only son (while still holding it as a possibility), so I feel about spirit guides, my higher self, the spiritual qualities of natural forces and objects. Are they real? What would be evidence of that, sufficient enough to satisfy me? I am not someone unwilling to make a leap of faith, if reason points strongly enough in the right direction, but it has never pointed strongly enough for me to commit myself to a given path or theology. So… because, for me, that is what gives meaning to life, I find my life lacking. I find that I have no reason to have a particular passion, or to really seek out one thing over the next. Although I love all of life, I find myself floating around in this world as if I haven’t been able to connect with any people as family, any place as home, any work as mine. That’s the block as far as I can see. I would LOVE to be done with this, but I don’t know how to get past it. I have no real desire to have a bunch of people trying to “fix” me as a result of this comment, but if you have found a solution that works for you, or if you have seen irrefutable evidence that your path works, let me know.