4 Comments
  1. robin 3 years ago

    That article rocked! It cleared up some things for me.

  2. lisa 4 years ago

    The East Relationship eval was interesting. I have grown a lot in my listening and being present skills. I am from a family of people who define themselves by their stories. It’s sad to see a someone become their story and we all know people like this; the retelling of the story exacerbates the original plight or challenge. My new activity is to quietly disrupt the story by asking a question in the present or to challenge the thinking in the narrative of martyr, victim, etc. could there be another explanation for why something happened or why someone behaved in a certain way.

    For me, I think my challenge is sometimes I go down a path where I expect that person/partner to have the same sensitivity, awareness or needs that I do. I kind of expect them to know where I am. (read my mind) I expect my indirect comments and hints to land with full clarity and understanding. When I’m not getting the expected response, I escalate the indirect feedback or comments, which is very unproductive. I guess this is another angle on speaking your truth. You actually have to know what the underlying truth is you are trying to communicate and directly communicate it. There is more there for me to explore, why I sometimes go that indirect route on the personal relationship stuff—I’m still a work in progress.

  3. Lee-Ann 4 years ago

    I have realized that men seem to be my problem. 🙂 The men in my life tend to be the ones that can “push my buttons” the quickest. I react more to them, I sometimes fester until I explode and I also don’t feel like I am heard with them. This is especially true for how my relationship was with my husband. It is also similar with my dad and another good friend of mine. I think it is because they are always telling me what I should do and how to do it. This comes from my childhood relationship with my dad, where I did nothing right. We have worked through this, but I’m now convinced that I’m didn’t fully get “through it”. I don’t take being told I’m doing something wrong very well, but I can be the same way. That is something I need to work on. It is very different with my close female friends. In going through the worksheet, I’ve noticed that I don’t argue very often with any one. I just don’t go there, no need to sweat the little stuff. Life is too short to argue. We can be open and say what we feel with out it being an argument. We have also been friends for a very long time. Because I have been isolating for quite awhile now, my circle of friends is extremely small. It always has been a small circle, but it is even smaller now. I have 1 friend who I hold space for and never realized it, the other 2, I tend to offer them advice on how to fix it. Very interesting to see the pieces of the relationships and how I interact with others. In my work relationships, if I think something is wrong, after doing my homework and getting all the supporting information, I will argue my point but not until I’ve done my research. I know that goes back to not wanting to be wrong. This was quite an eye opener on some things and validation on other things.

    • dminer11 3 years ago

      After this lesson you are so much more aware and open. That must make you feel good.

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