14 Comments
  1. Cheyanne 3 years ago

    I’ve been dealing with boundaries with a couple of friends and have been doing better at saying no if there’s something I don’t want to do. I try not to feel bad about it, although sometimes they play the guilt card. But when they do that, they are taking my power away and I’ve been doing better at not allowing that. It’s coming to a point where I’m no longer confident I want a relationship with them. A year ago I was desperate to be their friend because I didn’t have any at the time. I did things that weren’t who I was and it really drained me. Things have shifted since then and at times it’s been hard but it’s definitely been a positive shift.

  2. dminer11 3 years ago

    Well… this is the week my boundaries have been tested. I am happy to say I did really well. I have been communicating with a guy from a dating site. It is not a love connection but he is a nice guy and meditates. So we set something up to meditate together… he in his house, me in mine. He picked the time of 7a.m. for 1/2 hour. It was a little late for me but I agreed we also agreed to talk afterwards. After the first call I realized he was a newbie. He asked me questions about meditation and journeying. I felt good mentoring him. We did this every morning. In the middle of the week he said,”call me to wake me up for meditation.” More like a direction and not asking… regardless, I said No. and added that he chose the time and if it was important enough to him he wouldn’t need someone to wake him up. Then a couple of days later he needed a time change… NO… then it was the end of the week and I sent him on his own with encouragement, And said we could check in in a couple of weeks. I also Suggested he connect with a meetup group for meditation. He agreed and thanked me. Another day passes and then he emailed me. That he’s said he was doing great meditating. Then later in the day, sent another email saying his fingers were in pain could I please heal him. and four ours after that another email thanking me for the healing. I never read the emails until today as I went to bed at 7:30pm last night. I told him he did it… because I hadn’t read the email… He was beside himself and his fingers still feel good. Because I had kept setting boundaries the Universe never got the message to me. It was good participating in this and honoring myself.

  3. Valerie 3 years ago

    Yesterday I had my first date after beeing on myself for a year and a half. So i promised myself to keep my boundaries. During the day the conversations where very good, we had a wonderfull time of getting to know eachother and who we are. I was nervous n the beginning, but i was respecting my boundaries. Later in the evening ,At one time he kissed me, and it took me by surprise, I felt that my boundaries where broken. I told him that it was time for him to leave. I was not feeling good and whent to bed. Why did I broke my boundaries. So today is told him about how I felt and that this wasn’t good for me, and that I need time to think about a second date. For me it is so important to take time with getting to know someone with respecting the other’s boundaries. Something i never did before, but now I am at a place and time in my live, with the teachings, of knowing the importance of boundaries.

  4. PhyllisEagleDancing 4 years ago

    I live with my daughter & husband & grand baby. I can be pulled into doing more that I want to do. More cleaning, more babysitting, etc. I want to do things not out of “obligation”. I recognize “duty & obligation” as twin mothers that stand around pointing and shaking their fingers”after all I’ve done for you!” Easy to fall into victim mode if I listen to this jabber nonsense.

    I am very energetically connected to my daughter. I feel her every ache, pain, sickness before she does. It’s bizarre. Example: a couple of weeks ago, I suddenly felt flu symptoms. It knocked me down for about an hour. Then, I was fine…like some spirit had passed through me. The next day, my daughter became sick with the same symptoms that lasted several days. It has been this way for years.

    This causes me to question energetic boundaries and how to work with it for good. Since we are all connected energetically on the level of a unified field, it makes sense that we can energetically create boundaries, or not, with or without using words.

  5. Christina 4 years ago

    This is awesome! After a couple rough weeks looking back on childhood this was very refreshing and I’m actually excited to get started! I have a very motherly and nurturing nature and to be able to view the process from a parent/child point of view will be an awesome experience for me. My own parents were not great teachers and so I think that it will also be very healing for my inner child as well! I think one of the big things for me is that this time I will be able to voice my boundaries and say “no” without being punished anymore and that will be huge! Thank you for this! It’s just what I need 🙂

  6. Betty 4 years ago

    Wow….how timely this lesson is. A couple of weeks ago an old “friend” of mine, whom I hadn’t heard from in months, re-contacted me. We were FWB, mostly the “B”. He wanted to meet up again and resume activities. I told him “no.” It wasn’t easy; but I’ve decided that I’m not going to play that role anymore….give sex to get attention and an “ego boost.” It was really hard for me to say no, but I did. He pushed back…called me a derogatory name and told me I needed an attitude adjustment. That just made me mad and then it was easy to say “NO” in a big, leave no room for misunderstanding, way. I haven’t heard from him since. Whatever friendship we had is apparently gone. I’m saddened by that loss but feel so much better about sticking to my boundaries and not giving in.
    All of that being said, I still struggle with with feeling significant and worthy enough to stick to my boundaries with those who are closest to me. >_< At least I can say that I did teach my children that it's okay to set and stick by their boundaries. I might be a tad biased, but they're both phenomenal, wise, young adults. Now to teach the little girl inside of me what I taught my daughter and son…….

  7. lisa 4 years ago

    This whole section of boundaries is so interesting. I have different boundaries for different groups. I’m actually most rigid with my family members. Good to be self aware. I am also much better with boundaries with work. I am a workaholic and in a very engaging (aka demanding, competitive, codependent… Etc). I have been successfully reeling it in. My test was an offer this week to take on a leadership role at a well know institution that I readily passed on as it is not a part of my journey. It’s someone else’s.

  8. Diana Willard 4 years ago

    I will be setting firmer boundaries with myself so as to not take on more than I can do in a day. It causes anxiety and I feel like crap when I overload myself. additionally for many years I instituted a “Do For Diana Day”. Then for many years, Children, family, work, put my soul day on the back burner and I had to be happy with soul moments lol. Recently, I have been able to return to my soul day and it’s making all the difference in the world! Amen!

  9. Joy Little Mountain Richards 4 years ago

    Will be loving as I create those healthy boundaries to myself, re parenting the little child I was.
    Loving, plenty of love.
    Teach child it’s ok to question
    To express themselves is healthy, to be praised !
    To have fun, play, laugh out load, enjoy life, try everything !
    But…keep safe!
    Help them to voice / communicate their hopes and dreams, and support that child.
    Value that child, they are unique and special.
    To be respectful to others and elders BUT to say when they don’t want too, so they have a voice! Understand their fears? Let them feel heard! Value their opinion, listen!
    Don’t shout at them, never shout!
    Be firm, be loving, explain why feel annoyed at them!
    Explain so they understand.
    So they don’t feel excluded.
    Keep it honest, no more lies!
    Please , no more hidden stuff.

    That brick wall!
    Yeap!
    Hitting head on it a lot last few months since 21 day challenge!
    Partner, don’t like it!
    Horrible feeling wells up in me, feel sick, feel angry…why this still happening, same old habits and behaviour, not being heard!
    Arguments getting worse but over quicker! I’m learning to be heard and walk away, go my sacred space indoors…
    Outdoors…is just anywhere to get away! So working on that.
    ( yes, forgot to do the date with self day! Need to do this !)
    I ask myself why don’t I leave… He’s not perfect, neither am I.
    But I’m getting better at sticking up for self, we both need to work at our relationship… I think he knows now , finally…otherwise I will leave…
    But work in progress, early days, but making progress.
    I don’t like being that angry person, never was before… but it’s getting stuff moving, so I very Cautious about the dynamics now, how to be heard without the arguments and drama!
    I’m being kinder to self today, gave self hard time yesterday.. Looking foreword to learning about those healthy boundaries !

    Sister:- we go our separate ways now…more like aquitances than blood bond…
    I’m still trying to figure that out, it’s a new feeling of late.
    So perhaps it’s healthy boundaries?
    I’m no longer swayed by her dramas, distanced self.
    Caught up in the rollercoaster of emotions.
    No longer scarifying myself to help her out!
    No longer broken by experience traveling by her side so intensly last several years, but knock on effect from whole of childhood really…
    I see her occasionally, so perhaps that’s it, healthy boundaries!
    First time ever!

    Spiritual hugs of love and support to group on path…

  10. Michelle 4 years ago

    This week’s work is proving to be so hard, and it seems that I have cried for most of it, I think that I have hit that wall that Dakota talks about. Full of resentment and anger, especially at work where my boundaries are just about non existent. Always seem to stay back at least an hour every day while every body else goes home on time or gets their meal breaks. It is as if they know Michelle will do it, fix everything, take on other peoples responsibilities. Always the ‘good girl’. People don’t like it when I say no, or ask them to do something, and some even ask what is wrong with me. And as for my personal relationship, disastrous. Living (existing) in a relationship for 24 years with a man who has a narcissistic personality disorder and certainly does not respect or even recognize the boundaries of others. It is just so soul destroying to realize that I have allowed, and still allow him to some extent, to treat me the way he did because I valued myself so poorly. So much work to do that is long overdue.

  11. Valerie 4 years ago

    I have been setting more boundaries with my kids, my Son with his computer and school. My daughter with her beeing the little warrior woman she is ( she has my character oh god please help me lol) I respect who they are as a soul but like all we need to tune in some time to time . to stay in a sacred place for the 3 of us

  12. Kazabella 4 years ago

    I need to create a stronger boundary to separate work & personal life/free time. This will be easier now I have a new, rewarding, fulfilling job. I too need to give myself permission to have fun. I deserve it. I no longer need to validate myself through my work which means I no longer need to put myself under pressure to be perfect or the best. Finally learnt that lesson!

  13. Patti 4 years ago

    I definitely have the hardest time setting boundaries with my son. I’m at a point where I’m not backing down at his drinking. Not allowed in my home anymore. Finally is working and I’m sticking to it. Also I’m trying to learn to have some fun. That’s hard to do also but by allowing other people in, I am able to laugh and play a little more

  14. HillaryBanksSelf 4 years ago

    I need to set firmer boundaries with work – and with myself – like you mentioned. To allow myself permission to have fun, decompress and enjoy living and being in the moment.

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