20 Comments
  1. Jackie Derham 3 years ago

    My boundaries are pretty tight with other people, I have been called bitch before for protecting my boundaries. Where I have gone wrong in the past is being too harsh with others and would say pretty much what I thought. I am kinder now and can empathise with others feelings but still solid in my boundaries. My weak boundaries are with myself but am working on them and are already seeing a change, starting to respect myself a little more, trying hard to eat healthier, getting some exercise, this course is teaching me so much.

  2. Terri Lundquist 3 years ago

    So, I have pretty good boundaries with others right now. Where I realize I need practice is with Me. I have been making unhealthy choices for myself—eating a lot of chocolate, drinking coffee all day long, not drinking enough water, skipping food all day, not sleeping enough. It feels like I am punishing myself for something or just pushing to see how extreme I can go. Today I remind myself to ask, « is this in my highest good or best interest? » if the answer is Yes=do it! If the answer is No=STOP myself! This week I will be working on identifying where and when I am being mean or disrespectful with myself and I will practice articulating better boundaries to Me. I think I’ll use the « No thank you, but thank you for asking » approach after I ask if it’s in my best interest. That seems kind and strong.

  3. Cheyanne 3 years ago

    I’ve had poor boundaries in the past. I’ve often altered my personality to match the other person. And why? Maybe the need to feel liked and accepted. I’ve felt like I don’t know my authentic self because I change the way I act on the surface so often to fit in. Not being able to voice my thoughts. But I’ve gotten so much better in the past year. Even setting more boundaries with my partner. He’s a big cuddler but I need my space sometimes. So I can say no now. I still struggle a bit with my boundaries but I can see the progress and that’s a great feeling.

  4. Hanna Isaksson 3 years ago

    For me it’s such an improvement in boundaries in one year. Things I can verbalise today would have been impossible a year ago. Now I can react and speak up in the moment someone is crossing my boundaries (not all of the times, but most of the times). I have been setting boundaries towards my best friends and also co workers. People close to me. And that is scary and still a lot in practice. I am still struggling with boundaries when I am dating or in a relationship, but it’s getting better and as my boundaries get stronger I also see a shift in the men I am dating. I don’t get attracted to people who cross my boundaries and/or treat me like air or in other ways being destructive. I think e deserve better today.

  5. Valerie 3 years ago

    THE last year I worked a lot around my boundaries. What I noticed is when I have this feeling of not wanting to be alone or when I have the need to talk my boundaries are poor. So I feel bad about it after. Now I have been more aware of that and I am saying more no, I have more self love. I take more time to think how I feel inside if I am in a place I don’t like, I have been tested with a big boundarie thing the last week and I am feeling much better now. So step by step my boundaries are getting stronger. I am less on the internet also because it draines my energie a lot. I only go online when I realy want to go online, leave my phone inside when I am outside and things like that.

  6. Norma 3 years ago

    I am pretty good with boundaries. I learned a long time ago to say “No thank you but thank you for asking” I used that a lot when they tried to pressure (guilt) me into working extra shifts at the hospital. Now I have to work on my boundaries with one of my support team that is helping me learn how to become a better Health Coach. That is sometimes very challenging. But I am working on it.

  7. dminer11 3 years ago

    I do fairly well with boundaries. I’ve been working on it for a long time. One of the things I do that helps me is ” a pause”. ie…” let me get back to you”. Sometimes just a few minutes I can get the emotional response out of me and I am able to give a response that is my truth. It could be setting a boundary or deciding ,what was asked…, that i really want to be part of it.

  8. PhyllisEagleDancing 4 years ago

    Well it seems I break my own boundaries more than anything else. When I see something that I think needs doing, changing, improving, etc., I’m the first one to sign up, even though my gut tells me not to. So, saying “yes” too often has become as difficult as saying “no”. Before I know it, I have little time for myself. I will practice not raising my hand, not volunteering to do big projects around the house.

    This was a good realization for me. Even the little things add up. Dishes in the sink? Are they mine or not? to the big things…landscape the entire yard? Who house is this anyway?…to …I’ll watch the baby, you go take a nap.

    So for me, there’s not so much a script to write to say verbally to anyone. It’s a script for inner self…simple, “Do you really want to offer this?” Then, think through the consequences. Impulsivity is the culprit and almost always, directed from some twisted programming of needing to please.

  9. Christina 4 years ago

    I am beginning to realize going through these that my boundaries were not as lacking as perhaps I thought. I seem to be pretty good at the boundary thing. I still need some improvement when I am feeling attacked. I am beginning to realize that what I have a difficult time with is the emotional reactions and the energy if that makes sense. If things are reactive or there is a lot of emotion I can feel that and it is very difficult for me to at that point hold onto the boundaries and feel comfortable due to the weight pressing on my bubble. Hope that makes sense.. lol.

  10. lisa 4 years ago

    I’m going to leave another thought as my prior notes were feedback and not me sharing me. this one is hard as I normally am so good with boundaries. I have been very porous in my new relationship. I’ve been open, accommodating, flexible– I love this person and I want to spend as much time as I can with this person. But while I do that, I’m not taking enough for me. It leaves me frazzled and stressed that I’m not taking care of myself as well as I should be. And even more anxious/upset that this takes my real time and investment– it’s not effortless. My home, my garden, my person all need some of my time and focus to be the energetically beautiful things they are. I have started to make better decisions on time and get to the things that feed me and also make me happy. I love the part about no explanations– I don’t have to explain or make excuses for knowing what the right thing is for me. There is my test, just speak my truth and make time for me.

  11. Michelle 4 years ago

    This is a big and almost terrifying area for me. Expressing and communicating to other people what I need for myself and also what I need from them. I know I need to speak up and not let other people ignore me or take advantage of my quiet nature but asking for what I want or need has always felt unsafe. What if I cause conflict, or hurt some one’s feelings, Today more than ever, I know I need to define and verbalize my boundaries to my partner, because I will no longer allow another piece of my soul to be taken away because I don’t value and respect myself enough to stop settling for so much less than I deserve. I caught myself today reacting from a place of fear and abandonment, like a hurt little girl crying, rather than responding calmly, and standing firm, protected by a boundary that would reflect my true self worth and own inner power. After a little while, I realized how pathetic I felt, knowing that I had let him get to me again. So I straightened my invisible crown, and went out and bought myself some flowers. Unintentionally I had bought blue hydrangeas. Blue for the throat chakra, and also hydrangeas, as my partner can’t stand them but I absolutely adore them and they bring back happy memories of my childhood. I understand that I really need to write and practice verbalizing these scripts.

  12. lisa 4 years ago

    Marisse, you stopped, that is huge. You questioned and were ready to help. The man’s reaction was inappropriate. He may have been rude and dismissive because he knew what was happening, but that is not excuse for his response to you. Hopefully he did know. I am so glad that you stopped and If it were me collapsing, I would be greatful that strangers stopped too. You can always assert calling emergency services away from the immediate scene, and let the professionals respond. it’s so frustrating to see these things and assess the gravity. I’m hopeful things ended well for her. And I am so glad that you stopped.

  13. lisa 4 years ago

    Hana, that is very brave. Watching how you react, or finding the voice to your person, your feelings, is hard. Film is very revealing. Looking at where we are uncomfortable, or how empowered we are with our truths is quite a mirror. The great thing about the approach is that we can observe ourselves and study where we may be showing we are out of our comfort zone. and with that get more confident in our truth and the communication.

  14. Joy Little Mountain Richards 4 years ago

    Marisse, You were placed in an awkward position,but remember, you tried to help, that’s to be congratulated, no one else did!

    Hanna, that’s a brilliant idea!
    Will try that,
    Will do the script and then video.

    I think Coco , my cat, will be pleased to witness a shift in my behaviour.. Poor creature been cuddled and hugged so tightly at times, will be a relief for her too!
    I’ve been getting a bit better vocally, but it’s been hard to stay out of the anger and resentment emotions.
    Been making progress on boundaries, speaking up for self of late, but so want to do it completely without all the negative emotions that get stirred up, occasionally…
    Can see improvement in self, so can’t wait to do script and video.
    Reinforce those positive messages into my brain….
    I don’t like who I became…angry, having to get boundaries recognised.
    That’s not me but unfortunately that’s who I became to get heard…
    Getting there…

    Good luck to all.
    Spiritual hugs of love and support.

  15. Hanna Isaksson 4 years ago

    Instead of making a list I recorded a film with the help on my phone when I practice to say no in different situation. First I did work situations, that was actually quite easy. Much easier then it been in my past. Then I did a film when I pretended too say no to different situations with men/partners. That was more difficult and it woke up some feelings of shame in my body. And my throat chakra was much more effected. After recording each film I also watched it to see my my face expression.

  16. Marisse Reyes 4 years ago

    Last week when I was biking home in the afternoon, I saw a couple leaning against the fence of the park. As I was passing by, the woman collapsed on the ground. She looked semi-conscious and the guy that was with her was helping to hold her up. I got off my bike and approached and asked if she was okay and if they needed help. The woman didn’t answer me, but she looked really pale, and the guy kind of waved me off in an irritated way and said she was fine. So I got on my bike and cycled away. Nobody else stopped for them. But the experience has haunted me since I got back on my bike. I didn’t know why I wasn’t more insistent with the guy. His tone with me was intimidating and I felt that response was unsettling.

    Looking back on it now, I feel upset that I didn’t insist. Or wait from an answer from the lady. Or even just wait around the corner to see if she was okay before leaving. This experience showed me that I have some stuff to work on regarding standing for what I feel in my gut to be the right thing and speaking strong and clear about it.

  17. Jackie 4 years ago

    Truly, on point! For me, it is the anger issue (of others), i don’t ever know how to process other people’s anger, (especially the closest ones to me). It has always been a struggle for me to listen to the spewing anger tirades (which in the past, always felt like I had to fix something). It is not my way of releasing anger and it has disturbed me way too much. I have written the script similar to how you said it Dakota! AND, I will use it! I’ve already practiced it a few times. THANK YOU!

  18. Joy Little Mountain Richards 4 years ago

    Dakota!
    Did you say Chuckle!
    Okidoky, will do!
    Seeing two good friends tomorrow, Theology meeting in Liverpool.
    Awesome, perfect timing!

    Thank you once again, deepest gratitude for sharing your wisdom.
    Will do script too.

    Love light and laughter blessings to all.

  19. Valerie 4 years ago

    For me it has always been defficult to be myself or stand up for myself when i was outside of my home. I used to be someone else when I left the house, always insecure when I went to a place, so much that i was affraid to go into e place first, or when at a restaurant I was affraid to go to the toilet. I never spoke my voice, because I thought that people would look at me, finding me strange or be mad at me. At home I didn’t had those problems, I could be myself, feeling safe. So the biggest strugle was to open up myself to the world, now I don’t have that anymore, i have set those boundaries. But sometimes this little voice comes back into my head saying : aren’t you affraid? Then I get this shiver in my body and think back, all feelings in one seccond, and say no to this little voice. No because it doesn’t Harm to stand up for yourself, I feel free now, and yes sometimes I have doubts but then I also find the strength to believe in myself and go on. And this gives me peace ❤️

  20. Patti 4 years ago

    With me I get angry and depressed when I let others walk all over me and don’t stand up for myself! So I’m trying to believe I deserve to be happy!

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