Oops never finished my thought. I had been stewing about something she had said in regard to her dad my ex- husband. I started by saying…”I was bothered by what you said…blah, blah, blah.” She gave me an explanation and that was the end of it. My daughter and I are very close but she lives 3 hours away. We found what works for us is not to give an opinion unless asked. Sometimes that’s not easy…but the right thing to do on so many levels. Sometimes she just needs to vent. Sometimes through venting she comes up with her own solution. Sometimes she wants to ponder her own ideas, and sometimes she asks me my opinion. I respond in a way that empowers her and I plant seeds. I have found her using the same technique on her teenage and early 20’s step children. I never take credit for it. Instead I give her a compliment on how well she handle a situation. I guess the idea of this lesson is to have the tools and how to use them in a compatible, and non threatening way.